What is a ‘hubadera’?
In the language today a hubadera is a girl that wears ‘revealing’ clothes, she’s technically not afraid to show some skin at all or at most times with no bad intentions.
I am part of the hubaderas, and I get a lot of “lalabas kang ganyan suot mo? (You’re going out wearing that?)”, “Ang revealing ng suot mo! (Your outfit is too revealing!)”, “May respeto ka ba sa sarili mo? (Do you have any respect for yourself?)”, “Your shorts are too short”, “Your top is too low, taas mo nga yan (pull it up)”, “Pinakita mo na sa buong mundo katawan mo! Pinakita mo na lahat (You’ve shown the world your body, you’ve already shown everything)” other than these, I also get judging-lingering stares and the pervert-ish stares, I get cat called on a daily basis (even when I’m wearing something conservative) and so much more and I’m sick and tired of it.
First of all, my clothes and style represents me, represents my character and attitudes. Allow me to explain that I also wear clothes based on my mood, what I’m feeling or if I need a confidence boost when I’m nervous. I’m bold, outgoing and confident, I am comfortable in my skin and I do respect myself.
Allow me to elaborate, that the low cuts, open backs, strappy tops, shortest shorts, lace trimmed dangers, cut outs, crop tops and ripped jeans does not define my ability to respect myself nor should it be a basis on whether or not you respect me. I have been seeing this quote that disgusts me, it goes “If you expect me to respect you, then give me something to respect.” this quote is most accompanied by a woman wearing ‘skimpy’ clothes. I reiterate that I respect myself and I expect you to respect me regardless of what I wear, because that does not define the entirety of me, I am a human a being, I am a person, that alone deserves respect, I was born in this world with human rights… Just. Like. YOU. Men’s ability to restrain themselves from gawking at and verbally disrespecting woman is in their scope, the phrase “that’s because he’s a boy” is NOT an excuse for you to be off the hook for what you’re doing.
It does not also mean that I wear my hubadera outfits to get your attention, nope, I wear them for myself so suck it up, I ain’t trying to impress you. I am not an attention whore, nor am I am whore. I’m not trying to attract you nor am I sending you signs that I like you or that I want you, nope and also I’m not teasing you. So the moment your pervert-ish stare turns into you attempting to touch me, I’ll break your arm and make sure you won’t see the light of day.
Me also wearing what I wear, does not mean I’m easy to get. Don’t ever mistake my showing of skin as me inviting you in. You will work hard for me, because I’m very hard to get, trust me on that. Keep in mind that the one who deserves to see my naked body is the one who has seen my naked soul.
I also know how to compromise my style with rules, since I started working I needed to be mindful of the length of my skirt, the lowness of the cut of my top, no crop tops, no ripped jeans and no unnecessary cut outs during the weekdays but I make sure that what I wear still represents me because of all the things I would never want to lose again, it’s my identity.
You will also never see me consciously showing some skin when I’m in church, why did I saw consciously? Because there are moments when I was wearing shorts or a spaghetti strap with no cover up or a low cut top and surprise! We’re dropping by a church! I would never deliberately disrespect the church with what I’m wearing while hearing mass. You have no idea how ashamed and embarrassed I am when I am caught off guard like that, unlike the many church goers who consciously wear those things even when there is a big tarpaulin of what and what’s not of proper clothing in church. Just to be clear, I am not a hypocrite, I live by my rules that when in church I came for God and I will show up in my best.
Again, I implore you to not judge, make presumptions and disrespect me base on my choice of clothing because I don’t mind you wearing whatever you want to wear wherever you want to wear it, but I highly recommend that you dress accordingly in church.
My body is not all that I can offer, I have a mind and a soul and an entire being to accompany it. People will never know my train of thoughts, what it’s like to wake up next to me, what it’s like to be the one receiving my ‘I love you’ or see me at midnight holding my pen and paper and wondering what I’m writing down, taste my cooking, know my strengths and weaknesses, hear my poems, argue with me, watch me appreciate art and hear my explanation of the piece, go on dates with me and take pictures and just be crazy. I have more than the universe to offer that is beyond my physique.
The Inverted Trish 