It’s been a long time since I went out there to explore the sea of people like me, like you.
To attempt to sail the oceans of emotions with someone else on board like me, like you.
To feel the cold breeze on my legs but feel the warmth of your hug as you try to warm me up on a chilly Wednesday night when I convinced you to run with me to where the city couldn’t catch us.
It was exhilarating knowing that after so long, here I am, standing next to the person who I could potentially be with
So, imagine the sheer joy that overcame me every time I see your name pop up when my phone rings and I how much I look forward to all the times that I will get to be with you because you lighten my mood, ease my stress and make me happy
And that was dangerous, because it became exciting and fast moving but we changed, it was sudden then we ended with an abrupt halt.
The end that answered all the questions, the end that brought clarity and I am happy that it did because I was so confused along the journey
Love, I know that I was wrong, that I got excited and wanted to fast track whatever it is that we had.
But I also wish that you did not give me mixed signals and shrugged me off when I was asking you exactly what we were. I wanted clarity and I do believe that it is my right to know exactly where I stand with you, because I wanted to know what I should be expecting from your end and how I should be with you because “friends”, “FuBus”, “friends with benefits” and “dating” may sound like useless labels but each entitles different actions because they are different situations that have or may lead different agreements.
That’s what I needed, an agreement, ground rules and clarity. Is this “all body, no hearts”, “hearts and bodies” or “hearts, bodies and souls that intertwine”? But none of that matters now.
So, here I am back at the sea of people with mind over matter. No ‘what if’, ‘what could be’ or ‘what should have been’, just exploring and moving at the right pace all thanks to you.
Because whatever it was, whatever we were, all I can say is thank you for passing by.
The Inverted Trish 