Hindi Na Ako Muling Aasa Pa Sa’yo

Hindi na ako muling aasa pa sa’yo,

Hindi na ko ulit mabubulag sa mga kumikinang mong salita, kahit anong kolorete pa ang gamitin mo sa pagpinta ng inukit mong kasinungalingang kay ganda.

Hindi na muling magpapalunod sa luhang dulot mo, ako’y lalangoy patungo sa kapatagan ng katotohanan.

Hindi na muling magsusuot ng maskara para malinlang ang mga tao at ang sarili ko, dahil sa paniniwalang mahal mo din ako.

Hindi na muling iisipin ang mga mapaglaro mong haplos na kayang-kaya akong pasukin.

Hindi na muling matitikman ang tamis ng iyong halik na napapagkamalan kong isang panaginip o minsa’y isang kathang-isip.

Hindi na muling…. Tama na! Ayaw ko na! Ayaw ko na sa’yo!

Akala ko ba tapos na ako sa’yo? Bakit ikaw pa din? Bakit tumatako ka pa din sa isip ko?! Saan ba ako nagkulang sayo? Binigay ko naman lahat… Hindi ko na kaya…

Ayaw ko na sa’yo.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Alex Federigan

My Last Goodbye

This time last year my smile was blinding, my mood was unfathomably joyful, I felt like I could conquer the world… because I had you but now that’s not true.

I don’t know where you are, how you’re doing or even what you’re thinking

I haven’t heard from you for a very long time, so maybe you’re doing something crucial, or maybe you’re too busy to look back at me.

But whatever your reason, I hope this reaches you.

I hope you hear my last goodbye

Love, it’s not me to just give up and let you go, but we are an unfinished business that I know will have no end. We’ll never have our closure because you just disappeared out of thin air.

So many unanswered questions, so much longing, so much doubting, so much worries and so much hurt, it’s overwhelming.

You are what keeps me up at night, you are my morning thought, my 11:11 wish, and every time I see a plane passing by, I was wishing it has you in it coming home to me, but now that’s a petty daydream.

Love, I feel so numb and I’m sorry but I have to decide for my well-being. It was you that disappeared, it was you who I never heard a word from, I now consider your absence as you tendering your resignation as the love of my life.

I bid you my heartfelt good luck on your journey through life, I may not be included in it anymore but I know you will find someone for you, please be better with her.

I wish she is everything that you ever wanted and all you’ve ever needed

I wish she is the moon to your night as you were in mine

I hope she knows how to handle and push your buttons

I hope she argues with you the way I did, because your fetish is the craziest I’ve ever heard

I hope that when you see her, everything that’s wrong becomes alright

I hope she motivates you to do better and I hope her warmth can melt the cold winter nights

I hope she becomes your haven, and you become hers.

Create a love story more epic than ours, longer than ours and make her believe in forever as you did with me, but make sure your forever with her lasts a lifetime.

Love, I want you, I need you, I love you… But now, I bid my last goodbye.