May You Never

May you never have to question your position on where you stand in someone’s life; the life of the one who claims to love you

May they never tell you and make you feel like an option when they were your choice to begin with

May you find the one who will never let you go to sleep mad, sad, overthinking… the one who wraps their arms tightly around you when they wake up in the middle of the night

May you find the one who holds you when you cry and never tell you that you’re weak for crying over things that overwhelm you or the things that are important to you but are not to them

May you find the one who listens and holds you while you cry oceans over petty or deep things; the one who cherishes the moments when you lay down your guard

May you find the one who’s ready to lend a hand when you fall on your knees; the one who’ll let you pick yourself up but is ready to carry you when you need them to

May you find the one who holds you when you’re falling apart; the one who would cross rivers and oceans for you

May you find the one to hold your hand as you go through storms; the one who’ll go with you wherever you venture to

May you find the one who respects your opinions, your boundaries and acknowledges your efforts and your presence; the one who appreciates you

May you find the one who makes you genuinely and truly happy; the one who will tell you that you’re beautiful and make you feel you’re worthy

May you find the one who’s proud to call you theirs; the one who’ll never hide you from the world

May you find the one who will meet you halfway and fight for what you have as fiercely as you do; the one that deserves you

May you find the one who gives love as much as you do; the one who’ll never be scared to tell you “I love you”

May you never settle for less than what you deserve

Hindi Na Ako Muling Aasa Pa Sa’yo

Hindi na ako muling aasa pa sa’yo,

Hindi na ko ulit mabubulag sa mga kumikinang mong salita, kahit anong kolorete pa ang gamitin mo sa pagpinta ng inukit mong kasinungalingang kay ganda.

Hindi na muling magpapalunod sa luhang dulot mo, ako’y lalangoy patungo sa kapatagan ng katotohanan.

Hindi na muling magsusuot ng maskara para malinlang ang mga tao at ang sarili ko, dahil sa paniniwalang mahal mo din ako.

Hindi na muling iisipin ang mga mapaglaro mong haplos na kayang-kaya akong pasukin.

Hindi na muling matitikman ang tamis ng iyong halik na napapagkamalan kong isang panaginip o minsa’y isang kathang-isip.

Hindi na muling…. Tama na! Ayaw ko na! Ayaw ko na sa’yo!

Akala ko ba tapos na ako sa’yo? Bakit ikaw pa din? Bakit tumatako ka pa din sa isip ko?! Saan ba ako nagkulang sayo? Binigay ko naman lahat… Hindi ko na kaya…

Ayaw ko na sa’yo.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Alex Federigan

The First And Last Time

I thought of the day that I will finally see and touch your face

The day to be around your arms to taste your warm embrace

The day that I will finally hear the words “I love you” come from your mouth

The day that I will finally get to look into your eyes to unlock your soul

But no

That is not the day how we first met

I met you when you were at a wedding reception near my school

It was your cousin that I saw first that made me come over to say hi

Then you suddenly emerged looking so hot on your tux that made me marble at you for a little bit

Until I saw her

She was wearing this magnificent gown that made her look like a queen

And that suited her because she was in the arms of a king

The arms of MY king

Then everything was so fast that I didn’t have time to dodge the bullet

And suddenly I was standing in front of you, looking at your face, your arms not around me, your mouth not verbalizing “I love you” but just the bullshit “Hey”

And when I looked into your eyes, in that moment I knew that I have lost you

Then the queen turned into a bitch that mouthed “Who’s this?”

Because that connection was so vivid and contained the words that we would never say but both understood

Then the duck turned into a bigger bitch that said “Hi! I’m now his ex-girlfriend and are you the next victim?” smiled then turned and walked away

The pain came rushing and stabbing through my heart and the tears were dangerously threatening to fall

And the question “how was I so stupid to trust and wait for him” was ringing through my ears

That after the first time that he broke me I was stupid enough to let him back in

But no more

Because I am not your option, I am not your side chick and I am not your fucking bitch

Nor am I gonna be your ex-girlfriend who hits you up drunk at 3 AM just to tell you what I should’ve said

I will never be the ex-girlfriend that cries all night long praying for you to get back to your senses and pick me instead of her

I will never be the ex-girlfriend that regrets letting you go

I will never send you a sexy picture to show you what you gave up because that is reserved for the one who truly matters, so thank you for showing me that it wasn’t you

I will never fall in love with you again because this is over, we are over

And  I’m not gonna pretend that it didn’t hurt because it did

But you know what, the first time was the worst and here I am standing like a masterpiece

Yes set your eyes on me because this is the last time that we will ever meet

And  let me say this for the first and last time

FUCK YOU for screwing me over….

And goodluck to the both of you

 

 

 

 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Ang Bagay Ay Ikaw

Para kang isang linta nainuubos ang dugo ko sa bawat sipsip mo; kasabay na inuubos ang pasensya, oras at self-esteem ko

Para kang isang bato na napakatigas na noong kinakapitan ko subalit ngayon ikaw ang sanhi ng pagkamatay ko

Para kang kutsilyo na napakatalas dahil ang bawat salita mo tumatagos sa puso ko

Para kang droga na nagbibigay ng panandaliang saya pero panghabang buhay na sakit

Sa ngayon para tayong salamin na nabasag at minayos muli, mukha buo pero di na nagagamit ng maayos; dahil isa kang gago na walang hiyang lumalandi ng ibang babae sa harap ko

Para kang sirang plaka na paulit-ulit kahit na nangako ka na hindi mo na uulitin yun

Para kang walang gradong contact lense; pamporma lang

Para kang baso kaya mo hawakan ang mainit at masarap na kape ko pero pinapaso mo ako

Para kang Lotto, akala ko panalo na ako yun pala pinapa-asa mo lang ako

Pero, alam mo ba ang pinagkaiba mo sa mga bagay na yan?

Putang ina, mahal kita.

I Know, Love.

I see your muscled back turn away from me as you stir in your sleep, your face so calm and gentle faces me now and I hope my astounded gaze does not wake you. How did this beautiful person became mine? I count the days that I will last see your face, for I know what you are hiding.

I know that you’re tired of me, I know that the end is near for you and me; as silence tells me everything that you don’t say because you don’t want to hurt me in any way. I know, love, and I promise I’ll break it to you soon.

Allow me to lift the burden on your shoulders; that when you come home at night tired from work, all you have to do is rest and be at peace with the TV on, pizza and a beer on your hand and not worry about anybody else but you.

Allow me to smooth out your life as I know that the rigid road has bruised you too much to move, allow me to remove the hook stuck on your lips when you were fished out of the sea.

Allow me to remove the burden that is me

I know, love, that I no longer help you grow, that I no longer aid your wounds and end your suffering. That I’m no longer the smile on your face, the beat of your heart and the mate to your soul; but love, I know that you will find her.

And when you do, please tell her how lonely it was at nights when you couldn’t see her face or hear her voice. Tell her how you would bring your chariot with your white horses, your sword and your shield and fight through battles just to reach her. Tell her how you asked the Gods and Saints to give you strength and keep you safe, so you could go through war for her.

Show her how you waded your sword through your enemy’s chest because the thought of not coming home to her frightened you. Show her how much you missed her, longed for her and love her through the gentleness of your thrusts as you enter her.

Court her with the best of you and love her with all of you, show her how she is behind every smile, laugh and triumph in your life

Protect her like you were Davy Jones and she was your treasure, treat her like Cleopatra and make her feel so beautiful, show her how you are ready to move mountains and terrains just to see a smile on her face.

Show her how she was a part of your soul by making her see you at your most vulnerable and allow her to be the best of you; show her that if you ever were to lose her, you would lose yourself too.

Love, I know all these because that is how I am with you.

By Trish Perez