May You Never

May you never have to question your position on where you stand in someone’s life; the life of the one who claims to love you

May they never tell you and make you feel like an option when they were your choice to begin with

May you find the one who will never let you go to sleep mad, sad, overthinking… the one who wraps their arms tightly around you when they wake up in the middle of the night

May you find the one who holds you when you cry and never tell you that you’re weak for crying over things that overwhelm you or the things that are important to you but are not to them

May you find the one who listens and holds you while you cry oceans over petty or deep things; the one who cherishes the moments when you lay down your guard

May you find the one who’s ready to lend a hand when you fall on your knees; the one who’ll let you pick yourself up but is ready to carry you when you need them to

May you find the one who holds you when you’re falling apart; the one who would cross rivers and oceans for you

May you find the one to hold your hand as you go through storms; the one who’ll go with you wherever you venture to

May you find the one who respects your opinions, your boundaries and acknowledges your efforts and your presence; the one who appreciates you

May you find the one who makes you genuinely and truly happy; the one who will tell you that you’re beautiful and make you feel you’re worthy

May you find the one who’s proud to call you theirs; the one who’ll never hide you from the world

May you find the one who will meet you halfway and fight for what you have as fiercely as you do; the one that deserves you

May you find the one who gives love as much as you do; the one who’ll never be scared to tell you “I love you”

May you never settle for less than what you deserve

Why Are You Still Single?

Please don’t make your first question a “How’s your love life?” believe me I will tell you “it’s non-existent.” I’ve actually been asked this so many times that I’m making my love life a taboo subject because it should be none of your business.

Please stop saying “No way! You’re too pretty to be single!” thank you for thinking that I’m pretty, but outer appearance does not equate to relationship status. Yes it’s been a really long time since I’ve actually been together with someone and it’s my decision, not yours.

Please stop comparing me with my friends who are happily in love. I am well aware that I am the lone ranger in the squad, love came in the “destined” time for them and I am very happy that it did, you don’t know their story and neither do you mine, so stop comparing.

Please don’t make assumptions that I’m with someone because you often see me mention them on Twitter, or post pictures with them or even because you see me talk to them often, don’t make my social media accounts a validation mechanism, I still believe in privacy.

Please stop telling me that I should start dating, I actually already am considering it and it just so happens that nobody has passed stage 1 yet. I’m hard to get and I’m not pretending, I just really am but I ensure you that if you do get me, it will be worth it.

Please stop telling me that I’m too picky, of course I should be! Because the goal is to marry that person.  I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone who I was unsure of, of someone who can’t handle me, of someone who will tell me that I’m showing my true colors when I show him every single color that I have, of someone who will tell me to get my attitude straight when I’m being difficult, of someone who is on a different wavelength than me, of someone who I wasn’t truly, deeply and madly in love with.

I will flourish in that aspect with someone who I deem is “the one” for me, whom in return believes I am “the one” for him, in the right time. I’m in no rush, yes at times it gets lonely, and who wouldn’t want someone to stand by their side, right? But I do get by on my own.

Love is not a one way track, nor does is exist because of pressure from outside forces. Love should not be make believe nor forced, it should not be mistaken for momentary happiness, or the butterflies in your stomach. Love should not also be mistaken for admiration because the discovery of true love is a process that takes time, effort and patience.

So please, stop asking me why am I still single.

Hindi Na Ako Muling Aasa Pa Sa’yo

Hindi na ako muling aasa pa sa’yo,

Hindi na ko ulit mabubulag sa mga kumikinang mong salita, kahit anong kolorete pa ang gamitin mo sa pagpinta ng inukit mong kasinungalingang kay ganda.

Hindi na muling magpapalunod sa luhang dulot mo, ako’y lalangoy patungo sa kapatagan ng katotohanan.

Hindi na muling magsusuot ng maskara para malinlang ang mga tao at ang sarili ko, dahil sa paniniwalang mahal mo din ako.

Hindi na muling iisipin ang mga mapaglaro mong haplos na kayang-kaya akong pasukin.

Hindi na muling matitikman ang tamis ng iyong halik na napapagkamalan kong isang panaginip o minsa’y isang kathang-isip.

Hindi na muling…. Tama na! Ayaw ko na! Ayaw ko na sa’yo!

Akala ko ba tapos na ako sa’yo? Bakit ikaw pa din? Bakit tumatako ka pa din sa isip ko?! Saan ba ako nagkulang sayo? Binigay ko naman lahat… Hindi ko na kaya…

Ayaw ko na sa’yo.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Alex Federigan

My Last Goodbye

This time last year my smile was blinding, my mood was unfathomably joyful, I felt like I could conquer the world… because I had you but now that’s not true.

I don’t know where you are, how you’re doing or even what you’re thinking

I haven’t heard from you for a very long time, so maybe you’re doing something crucial, or maybe you’re too busy to look back at me.

But whatever your reason, I hope this reaches you.

I hope you hear my last goodbye

Love, it’s not me to just give up and let you go, but we are an unfinished business that I know will have no end. We’ll never have our closure because you just disappeared out of thin air.

So many unanswered questions, so much longing, so much doubting, so much worries and so much hurt, it’s overwhelming.

You are what keeps me up at night, you are my morning thought, my 11:11 wish, and every time I see a plane passing by, I was wishing it has you in it coming home to me, but now that’s a petty daydream.

Love, I feel so numb and I’m sorry but I have to decide for my well-being. It was you that disappeared, it was you who I never heard a word from, I now consider your absence as you tendering your resignation as the love of my life.

I bid you my heartfelt good luck on your journey through life, I may not be included in it anymore but I know you will find someone for you, please be better with her.

I wish she is everything that you ever wanted and all you’ve ever needed

I wish she is the moon to your night as you were in mine

I hope she knows how to handle and push your buttons

I hope she argues with you the way I did, because your fetish is the craziest I’ve ever heard

I hope that when you see her, everything that’s wrong becomes alright

I hope she motivates you to do better and I hope her warmth can melt the cold winter nights

I hope she becomes your haven, and you become hers.

Create a love story more epic than ours, longer than ours and make her believe in forever as you did with me, but make sure your forever with her lasts a lifetime.

Love, I want you, I need you, I love you… But now, I bid my last goodbye.

To The Bastard Who Broke My Friend’s Heart

Hey you, yeah YOU!

How could you? After we gave you our trust and supported you guys and became your number one fans? Yes, me and our other friends but let me tell you something; YOU ARE A F*CKING DICK, a gigantic asshole and YOU DO NOT DESERVE HER.

She is so beautiful; her spirit soaring high up in the clouds, her smile can light up a dark building; she is determined, brilliant and witty. I have no idea how she can put up with someone like YOU.

Never have I ever seen her lost her wings like that, she crashed so hard and face first to the ground, never seen her so parched that not even the ocean could quench her thirst, never seen her so breathless that not even the forest could provide her enough oxygen, never seen her shed massive tears that not even an Olympic pool could contain, never seen her lose herself and that’s all because of YOU.

YOU, the bastard that broke her heart.

The one she chose to love despite you being so egoistic, conceited and self centered, the one she chose to be with through the darkest days of his life that she gave him her mind and soul and when he wasn’t sober only gave her words that pierced holes on her heart that hurt more than bullet wounds and more visible than the moon’s craters created by crashing meteors, the one she reserved herself for because she’s not easy to get and still you got her, but when will you cherish her? The one who’s hand she chose to hold her fragile heart and trusted to keep it safe and sound.

I will never forget what you did to my precious friend, we will always be here for her; to give her pieces of advice, to care for her and listen to her in her good and bad days, to protect her from all harm and to support her in every decision that she makes and she decided to still be with you, we don’t like it, well I don’t like it, but that’s her decision and we respect it and we respect her because we love her and I’ve been there before so I understand where she is coming from but don’t mistake this as a pass to talking to me again.

One more thing, for a woman, despite giving us millions of reason to leave you, we always seem to chose that one reason to stay. So, keep yourself in check because you are on my bad side, once you go waaaay below the belt even if I get a red light, I will tear your manhood down to b i l l I o n s of p i e c e s.

The First And Last Time

I thought of the day that I will finally see and touch your face

The day to be around your arms to taste your warm embrace

The day that I will finally hear the words “I love you” come from your mouth

The day that I will finally get to look into your eyes to unlock your soul

But no

That is not the day how we first met

I met you when you were at a wedding reception near my school

It was your cousin that I saw first that made me come over to say hi

Then you suddenly emerged looking so hot on your tux that made me marble at you for a little bit

Until I saw her

She was wearing this magnificent gown that made her look like a queen

And that suited her because she was in the arms of a king

The arms of MY king

Then everything was so fast that I didn’t have time to dodge the bullet

And suddenly I was standing in front of you, looking at your face, your arms not around me, your mouth not verbalizing “I love you” but just the bullshit “Hey”

And when I looked into your eyes, in that moment I knew that I have lost you

Then the queen turned into a bitch that mouthed “Who’s this?”

Because that connection was so vivid and contained the words that we would never say but both understood

Then the duck turned into a bigger bitch that said “Hi! I’m now his ex-girlfriend and are you the next victim?” smiled then turned and walked away

The pain came rushing and stabbing through my heart and the tears were dangerously threatening to fall

And the question “how was I so stupid to trust and wait for him” was ringing through my ears

That after the first time that he broke me I was stupid enough to let him back in

But no more

Because I am not your option, I am not your side chick and I am not your fucking bitch

Nor am I gonna be your ex-girlfriend who hits you up drunk at 3 AM just to tell you what I should’ve said

I will never be the ex-girlfriend that cries all night long praying for you to get back to your senses and pick me instead of her

I will never be the ex-girlfriend that regrets letting you go

I will never send you a sexy picture to show you what you gave up because that is reserved for the one who truly matters, so thank you for showing me that it wasn’t you

I will never fall in love with you again because this is over, we are over

And  I’m not gonna pretend that it didn’t hurt because it did

But you know what, the first time was the worst and here I am standing like a masterpiece

Yes set your eyes on me because this is the last time that we will ever meet

And  let me say this for the first and last time

FUCK YOU for screwing me over….

And goodluck to the both of you

 

 

 

 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Lover, Where Are You Now?

Are you with the stars that shine bright above my head?

Are you with the angels in the clouds high up above the ground?

Are you with the saints waiting for God’s embrace?

Are you with the sun that rises so beautifully at dawn?

Are you with the moon that leaves the night too soon?

Are you with the sea that crashes waves upon the shore?

Are you with the wind that whispers upon my ear?

Are you with the crowd that’s making so much sound?

Are you in a club dancing with a chick?

Are you in a bed in someone’s arms?

Are you in the kitchen making your favorite cup of coffee?

Are you in your car off to the middle of nowhere?

 

Ohh wait… you’re in my head, just in my head because you don’t exist.

Grad-waiting

Everyday is an endless debate of “I want to graduate already!” and “I don’t want to graduate yet.”. There are days when I’m just so stressed with school that I just really wanna pass and get my diploma, then there are times that I just want to stay a student because the corporate world scares me. The future scares me because there’s no saying on what will happen next.

Seeing the industry that I want to be a part of is very different from actually getting first hand experience. Internship is very important in determining whether you want to pursue this road or try a different path after graduation.

Currently, the only line between being a student and official unemployed is just a semester. One very fast approaching semester and it’s the shortest one within the school year with just 4 months and having the APEC Summit off and Christmas vacation in between.

It’s nerve wrecking to actually think about it, because you’re torn in wanting to graduate, earn money and start building an empire (okay fine, fulfilling your dreams) and staying in school and do what you’ve been doing most of your life. It’s an endless contradiction of wanting to be successful and on your own feet and just wanting to marry and be at home. Wanting to travel the world but have to work your ass off first so you have money to spend on the plane tickets, wanting to move to another country but you have to garner experience first. Big dreams, big, big dreams but how do you start? how do start fulfilling them from the bottom when you’re so comfortably inlove with school life?

As much as I hate to admit it, I can’t imagine not waking up, going to school, meet my friends, be in class, create an out-of-this-world PR plan, dream about graduating and moving to New York, shopping till you drop at Gucci, Prada, Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin but how is it to wake up for work, meet people who can be true to you or be medusa, work for money to satisfy your basic needs, wait for you to be promoted, create an out-of-this-world PR plan and have your boss say “That’s too ambitious, think about the money. be practical, don’t be stupid, kid. Welcome to the “real” world.”, have your hard work thrown in the trash, go home real late from the office and get up real f*cking early with your eye bags bigger than Kim K’s behind and going to the office again.

How can I compare the student life to that? That when you cry when things get too stressful you have your friends there because duh, you’re classmates, how can you bare the separation anxiety that you experience with the people you spent the most important years of growing up with? How can you compare making mistakes and having your professor there to point and correct what you got wrong so you can learn to when you should never make a mistake even if you’re a newbie because ‘new’ doesn’t exist when you’re in the workplace? How can you let go of your comfort zone?

My head is filled with questions and possibilities that keep me up at night, I worry about tomorrow and tomorrow is coming fast, time is not flying fast, it’s teleporting nowadays.

Time will never be your friend, it can never adjust for you; you have to adjust to it. Like you can stay 17 forever in your head, ways and heart because you’re just not ready to move on, but physically your already 30, fat, jobless and still not moving on. Time will never wait for you, so what you can do is catch it.

image courtesy of Google Image

Review On Kamuning Bakery Cafe

Are you looking for a place that mixes Spanish-Filipino feels hen you’re eating? GREAT! here is Kamuning Bakery Cafe, where mixes both with a wide selection of mouthwatering food. KB is located at 43 Judge Jimenez St, Quezon City, 1103 Metro Manila.

The Place

This is what will greet you when you open the door, doesn’t it feel so homey?

Soesn’t it look great? It’s bright and very welcoming and it gives you that haciendera feels. My favorite piece, the vintage phone!! It reminds me of the movie with Iza Calzado with the past-future love story. I forgot the title though and I absolutely adore the paintings on the wall, I’m a sucker for art. The book self hold various genres of book that you can borrow while you’re dining, do remember to put it back though and there’s also more than a handful of The Philippines Star newspaper, perfect for coffee.

The Menu

 

Dessert

This is now one of my favorite places to eat, the price is great for the taste, trust me on that one. The food here waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than what hotels serve at occasions. It’s like eating five-star hotel level food for a low cost. The Pan De Suelo  is a must try, you must order it. The cake is very cheap compared to Starbucks, for 85 pesos you can be sent to cake heaven, they also have a wide variety of tea and coffee. They also have availble home made ice cream in Peanut Butter and Jelly, Basil and i forgot the other one. we will definitely try that one next time.

Our Order

This is the Chicken Bucket Served with either fried or Pan de Suelo (2 pieces) it’s also available in 4 pieces, it just so happens that me and my friend are on a diet when we ate here. We will definitely go back to this foodgasmic joint! This is by far the best tasting chicken I have eaten, not even Max’s, Chooks-to-go, KFC, Jollibee and Mcdonald’s can pass the taste of this chicken. It’s so crunchy and the taste goes to the meat, with most chickens the taste only sticks with the skin, but not this one! The Pan de Suelo is so perfecccccccttttt!

I really recommend this because we left for bout 15-20 minute to interview the owner of the joint for our Media Criticism class and when we came back to finish our meal, it was still as crunchy and tasteful as it was when it was served to us.

This beauty is the Midnight Chocolate, it’s only 85 pesos and the taste is beyond compare, it’s not too sweet, nor is does it lack taste, it’s just so right. You  have to try this one, the condensed milk on the side is not even like the condensed milk in the can it’s not that sweet, I wouldn’t doubt if they say that it’s home made either.

The Owner

Trish Perez (front left), Mr. Wilson Flores (front right), Ila Ventanilla (back left) and Lourdes Isip (back right)

I would like you to meet Mr. Wilson Lee Flores, he owns this foodgasmic joint, he is realty entrepreneur, college teacher, writer and a Philippine Star columnist. he is very brilliant and is very welcoming and kind. I’m lucky to have met someone like him. You can follow him on Twitter, Instagram and like his official Facebook page and do not forget to follow Kamuning Bakery on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook! Tag them in your post when you drop by.

Boots And Chains

For this day, I really felt like being a badass and nothing beats boots and chains for that. I have a very simple outfit to be honest, just a plain v neck shirt, pants and combat boots, I brought  jacket along that day, which was a good thing because the air conditioning unit inside the classroom was blasting off that day.  the hair absolutely unintentionally and perfectly ponytailed, it’s actually a little btt of nostalgia from high school when I was rocking side bangs. The boots are part of my ROTC uniform, yes, I took up ROTC as much as it’s hard to believe, I have evidence lol

The Outfit

 

The Accessories

Ofcourse, how in the world would y outfit be complete with out any accessories right? So, what I have on is one of my new items from my shop The Millennial, the Bared To You locked-in necklace and the Kiss My Lips earcuffs. You can go ahead and follow my shop on IG or check out my other items here and here. Message me via FB if youo want to order or email me at theinvertedtrish@gmail.com.