May You Never

May you never have to question your position on where you stand in someone’s life; the life of the one who claims to love you

May they never tell you and make you feel like an option when they were your choice to begin with

May you find the one who will never let you go to sleep mad, sad, overthinking… the one who wraps their arms tightly around you when they wake up in the middle of the night

May you find the one who holds you when you cry and never tell you that you’re weak for crying over things that overwhelm you or the things that are important to you but are not to them

May you find the one who listens and holds you while you cry oceans over petty or deep things; the one who cherishes the moments when you lay down your guard

May you find the one who’s ready to lend a hand when you fall on your knees; the one who’ll let you pick yourself up but is ready to carry you when you need them to

May you find the one who holds you when you’re falling apart; the one who would cross rivers and oceans for you

May you find the one to hold your hand as you go through storms; the one who’ll go with you wherever you venture to

May you find the one who respects your opinions, your boundaries and acknowledges your efforts and your presence; the one who appreciates you

May you find the one who makes you genuinely and truly happy; the one who will tell you that you’re beautiful and make you feel you’re worthy

May you find the one who’s proud to call you theirs; the one who’ll never hide you from the world

May you find the one who will meet you halfway and fight for what you have as fiercely as you do; the one that deserves you

May you find the one who gives love as much as you do; the one who’ll never be scared to tell you “I love you”

May you never settle for less than what you deserve

Hindi Kasi Pwede

Pinilit kasi natin ang hindi pwede,  ayan tuloy nasaktan tayo,  ayan tuloy nagsisi tayo.

Minsan iniisip ko bakit nga ba natin pinaglaban? Ahh, naalala ko na,  kasi nagsumpaan tayo sa isa’t isa na tatapusin nating dalawa ang laban,  ayan natapos nga natin pati naman tayo natapos din.

Pero okay lang kasi nalaman ko na naman na hindi pala tayo para sa isa’t isa, na ang sumpaan natin ay puwang na mga salita lamang. Ang mga pangarap natin ay puwang na mga kathang isip lamang,  ang mga lugar na pinuntahan at balak natin puntahan ay puwang na mga lugar lamang. Ang mga kanta, tula at mga regalo ay puwang na mga kanta, tula at bagay lamang. Lahat sila ay dapat hindi ko bigyan ng kabuluhan or halaga kasi nga ganun lang sila, nagkataon lang na may ‘tayo’ pa nun kaya ayan, ako si tanga na hindi matanggal ang mga halaga nila.

Siguro iniisip mo, saan ako patungo? Kasi ang gulo gulo ko, dami kong sinasabi. Sasabihin wala na tayo tapos ieexplain ko bakit pero magpapahiwatig akong gusto pa kita, na gusto ko ulit may “tayo”.

Pero sorry na, patawarin mo na ako. Di ko naman sinasadyang may hangover pa ako. Huwag ka magalala, mawawawala na rin lahat ng mga ito….

 

 

Kasabay ko….

Hindi Na Ako Muling Aasa Pa Sa’yo

Hindi na ako muling aasa pa sa’yo,

Hindi na ko ulit mabubulag sa mga kumikinang mong salita, kahit anong kolorete pa ang gamitin mo sa pagpinta ng inukit mong kasinungalingang kay ganda.

Hindi na muling magpapalunod sa luhang dulot mo, ako’y lalangoy patungo sa kapatagan ng katotohanan.

Hindi na muling magsusuot ng maskara para malinlang ang mga tao at ang sarili ko, dahil sa paniniwalang mahal mo din ako.

Hindi na muling iisipin ang mga mapaglaro mong haplos na kayang-kaya akong pasukin.

Hindi na muling matitikman ang tamis ng iyong halik na napapagkamalan kong isang panaginip o minsa’y isang kathang-isip.

Hindi na muling…. Tama na! Ayaw ko na! Ayaw ko na sa’yo!

Akala ko ba tapos na ako sa’yo? Bakit ikaw pa din? Bakit tumatako ka pa din sa isip ko?! Saan ba ako nagkulang sayo? Binigay ko naman lahat… Hindi ko na kaya…

Ayaw ko na sa’yo.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Alex Federigan

My Last Goodbye

This time last year my smile was blinding, my mood was unfathomably joyful, I felt like I could conquer the world… because I had you but now that’s not true.

I don’t know where you are, how you’re doing or even what you’re thinking

I haven’t heard from you for a very long time, so maybe you’re doing something crucial, or maybe you’re too busy to look back at me.

But whatever your reason, I hope this reaches you.

I hope you hear my last goodbye

Love, it’s not me to just give up and let you go, but we are an unfinished business that I know will have no end. We’ll never have our closure because you just disappeared out of thin air.

So many unanswered questions, so much longing, so much doubting, so much worries and so much hurt, it’s overwhelming.

You are what keeps me up at night, you are my morning thought, my 11:11 wish, and every time I see a plane passing by, I was wishing it has you in it coming home to me, but now that’s a petty daydream.

Love, I feel so numb and I’m sorry but I have to decide for my well-being. It was you that disappeared, it was you who I never heard a word from, I now consider your absence as you tendering your resignation as the love of my life.

I bid you my heartfelt good luck on your journey through life, I may not be included in it anymore but I know you will find someone for you, please be better with her.

I wish she is everything that you ever wanted and all you’ve ever needed

I wish she is the moon to your night as you were in mine

I hope she knows how to handle and push your buttons

I hope she argues with you the way I did, because your fetish is the craziest I’ve ever heard

I hope that when you see her, everything that’s wrong becomes alright

I hope she motivates you to do better and I hope her warmth can melt the cold winter nights

I hope she becomes your haven, and you become hers.

Create a love story more epic than ours, longer than ours and make her believe in forever as you did with me, but make sure your forever with her lasts a lifetime.

Love, I want you, I need you, I love you… But now, I bid my last goodbye.

The First And Last Time

I thought of the day that I will finally see and touch your face

The day to be around your arms to taste your warm embrace

The day that I will finally hear the words “I love you” come from your mouth

The day that I will finally get to look into your eyes to unlock your soul

But no

That is not the day how we first met

I met you when you were at a wedding reception near my school

It was your cousin that I saw first that made me come over to say hi

Then you suddenly emerged looking so hot on your tux that made me marble at you for a little bit

Until I saw her

She was wearing this magnificent gown that made her look like a queen

And that suited her because she was in the arms of a king

The arms of MY king

Then everything was so fast that I didn’t have time to dodge the bullet

And suddenly I was standing in front of you, looking at your face, your arms not around me, your mouth not verbalizing “I love you” but just the bullshit “Hey”

And when I looked into your eyes, in that moment I knew that I have lost you

Then the queen turned into a bitch that mouthed “Who’s this?”

Because that connection was so vivid and contained the words that we would never say but both understood

Then the duck turned into a bigger bitch that said “Hi! I’m now his ex-girlfriend and are you the next victim?” smiled then turned and walked away

The pain came rushing and stabbing through my heart and the tears were dangerously threatening to fall

And the question “how was I so stupid to trust and wait for him” was ringing through my ears

That after the first time that he broke me I was stupid enough to let him back in

But no more

Because I am not your option, I am not your side chick and I am not your fucking bitch

Nor am I gonna be your ex-girlfriend who hits you up drunk at 3 AM just to tell you what I should’ve said

I will never be the ex-girlfriend that cries all night long praying for you to get back to your senses and pick me instead of her

I will never be the ex-girlfriend that regrets letting you go

I will never send you a sexy picture to show you what you gave up because that is reserved for the one who truly matters, so thank you for showing me that it wasn’t you

I will never fall in love with you again because this is over, we are over

And  I’m not gonna pretend that it didn’t hurt because it did

But you know what, the first time was the worst and here I am standing like a masterpiece

Yes set your eyes on me because this is the last time that we will ever meet

And  let me say this for the first and last time

FUCK YOU for screwing me over….

And goodluck to the both of you

 

 

 

 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Lover, Where Are You Now?

Are you with the stars that shine bright above my head?

Are you with the angels in the clouds high up above the ground?

Are you with the saints waiting for God’s embrace?

Are you with the sun that rises so beautifully at dawn?

Are you with the moon that leaves the night too soon?

Are you with the sea that crashes waves upon the shore?

Are you with the wind that whispers upon my ear?

Are you with the crowd that’s making so much sound?

Are you in a club dancing with a chick?

Are you in a bed in someone’s arms?

Are you in the kitchen making your favorite cup of coffee?

Are you in your car off to the middle of nowhere?

 

Ohh wait… you’re in my head, just in my head because you don’t exist.

Marry A Man Who Knows How To Cook

Marry a man who knows how to cook……. and wash the dishes!

Why? Because he knows how to clean his mess.

He knows how to clean up and doesn’t expect you to

He knows how to pick himself up, so you wouldn’t have to worry

You don’t need to ask him to because he already knows that he has to

He’s responsible for his actions and doesn’t put the hard part on you

He can create scrumptious dishes, make your tummy happy and keep your hands clean

He’s not sloppy, he’s not a slave nor is he under you. He’s a man, a gentleman.

A man who is independent and  gives you your time and space

A man you can rely on and even trust the laundry with

A man who doesn’t need another mother because he is no longer a boy

Yes, marry a man who knows how to cook and wash the dishes.

 

 

 

image courtesy of Google Image

Ang Bagay Ay Ikaw

Para kang isang linta nainuubos ang dugo ko sa bawat sipsip mo; kasabay na inuubos ang pasensya, oras at self-esteem ko

Para kang isang bato na napakatigas na noong kinakapitan ko subalit ngayon ikaw ang sanhi ng pagkamatay ko

Para kang kutsilyo na napakatalas dahil ang bawat salita mo tumatagos sa puso ko

Para kang droga na nagbibigay ng panandaliang saya pero panghabang buhay na sakit

Sa ngayon para tayong salamin na nabasag at minayos muli, mukha buo pero di na nagagamit ng maayos; dahil isa kang gago na walang hiyang lumalandi ng ibang babae sa harap ko

Para kang sirang plaka na paulit-ulit kahit na nangako ka na hindi mo na uulitin yun

Para kang walang gradong contact lense; pamporma lang

Para kang baso kaya mo hawakan ang mainit at masarap na kape ko pero pinapaso mo ako

Para kang Lotto, akala ko panalo na ako yun pala pinapa-asa mo lang ako

Pero, alam mo ba ang pinagkaiba mo sa mga bagay na yan?

Putang ina, mahal kita.

Adobo

What is with your hands that makes me crave your cooking so much? I bet a lot of you have asked your lola to cook for you something because no one but her can create the magic taste that your tastebuds have been craving so much.

I wonder what it is with her cooking that makes me always compare the dishes she make with the ones that I eat outside the house. Every person has a different cooking style and have specific tastes to types of dishes that they make, I know this because I cook too.

But when we go out of town and find ourselves catching a meal at local eateries because you know, the best way to find the most authentic tastes are not in restaurants alone, after tasting the area’s specialty I find myself picking a dish familiar to my taste buds and lately I was in Alaminos with my family and bought some viands, while I was eating I can’t help but scrutinize the taste of the food because it was so blunt compared to my lola’s cooking. I was looking for my lola’s Monngo, my lola’s Bisteak and my lola’s Igado.

What is your secret recipe? Love? Oregano? Onions? Magic? I have no clue what is with it but one thing is for sure, the power that food brings is magic. It holds so many memories, emotions and people with every spoonful you eat. Like one time, my lola made her Lomo with soy sauce and butter, I think, and she hasn’t made that in years, I mean literally almost 1 decade. I went down from my room and I can’t remember the look of it but what the hell, I ate it anyways and the moment it hit my tongue I literally cried because nostalgia hit me so hard, it took me back to when I was a fat little girl, who played all day and had no worries in the world and the only enemy I had was my afternoon nap.

She’s the only one who can actually make me eat rice and she doesn’t even know it. never have I ever tasted Adobo better than hers and when she makes her Alamang I shall say goodbye to my diet and hello to 3 cups of rice, and God her Monggo and her variety of Bisteaks most specially her Mechado!! It’s to die for man!

She’s old and we don’t really get along that well but sometimes I think of the future and nobody is forever in this earth, I still have a long life to live and I’m gonna miss the taste of her dishes, nobody’s cooking can ever be compared to hers, nobody can make me crave something like that like her and nobody can make me break my diet ever so willingly the way she does….

Review On Kamuning Bakery Cafe

Are you looking for a place that mixes Spanish-Filipino feels hen you’re eating? GREAT! here is Kamuning Bakery Cafe, where mixes both with a wide selection of mouthwatering food. KB is located at 43 Judge Jimenez St, Quezon City, 1103 Metro Manila.

The Place

This is what will greet you when you open the door, doesn’t it feel so homey?

Soesn’t it look great? It’s bright and very welcoming and it gives you that haciendera feels. My favorite piece, the vintage phone!! It reminds me of the movie with Iza Calzado with the past-future love story. I forgot the title though and I absolutely adore the paintings on the wall, I’m a sucker for art. The book self hold various genres of book that you can borrow while you’re dining, do remember to put it back though and there’s also more than a handful of The Philippines Star newspaper, perfect for coffee.

The Menu

 

Dessert

This is now one of my favorite places to eat, the price is great for the taste, trust me on that one. The food here waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than what hotels serve at occasions. It’s like eating five-star hotel level food for a low cost. The Pan De Suelo  is a must try, you must order it. The cake is very cheap compared to Starbucks, for 85 pesos you can be sent to cake heaven, they also have a wide variety of tea and coffee. They also have availble home made ice cream in Peanut Butter and Jelly, Basil and i forgot the other one. we will definitely try that one next time.

Our Order

This is the Chicken Bucket Served with either fried or Pan de Suelo (2 pieces) it’s also available in 4 pieces, it just so happens that me and my friend are on a diet when we ate here. We will definitely go back to this foodgasmic joint! This is by far the best tasting chicken I have eaten, not even Max’s, Chooks-to-go, KFC, Jollibee and Mcdonald’s can pass the taste of this chicken. It’s so crunchy and the taste goes to the meat, with most chickens the taste only sticks with the skin, but not this one! The Pan de Suelo is so perfecccccccttttt!

I really recommend this because we left for bout 15-20 minute to interview the owner of the joint for our Media Criticism class and when we came back to finish our meal, it was still as crunchy and tasteful as it was when it was served to us.

This beauty is the Midnight Chocolate, it’s only 85 pesos and the taste is beyond compare, it’s not too sweet, nor is does it lack taste, it’s just so right. You  have to try this one, the condensed milk on the side is not even like the condensed milk in the can it’s not that sweet, I wouldn’t doubt if they say that it’s home made either.

The Owner

Trish Perez (front left), Mr. Wilson Flores (front right), Ila Ventanilla (back left) and Lourdes Isip (back right)

I would like you to meet Mr. Wilson Lee Flores, he owns this foodgasmic joint, he is realty entrepreneur, college teacher, writer and a Philippine Star columnist. he is very brilliant and is very welcoming and kind. I’m lucky to have met someone like him. You can follow him on Twitter, Instagram and like his official Facebook page and do not forget to follow Kamuning Bakery on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook! Tag them in your post when you drop by.