Everyday is an endless debate of “I want to graduate already!” and “I don’t want to graduate yet.”. There are days when I’m just so stressed with school that I just really wanna pass and get my diploma, then there are times that I just want to stay a student because the corporate world scares me. The future scares me because there’s no saying on what will happen next.
Seeing the industry that I want to be a part of is very different from actually getting first hand experience. Internship is very important in determining whether you want to pursue this road or try a different path after graduation.
Currently, the only line between being a student and official unemployed is just a semester. One very fast approaching semester and it’s the shortest one within the school year with just 4 months and having the APEC Summit off and Christmas vacation in between.
It’s nerve wrecking to actually think about it, because you’re torn in wanting to graduate, earn money and start building an empire (okay fine, fulfilling your dreams) and staying in school and do what you’ve been doing most of your life. It’s an endless contradiction of wanting to be successful and on your own feet and just wanting to marry and be at home. Wanting to travel the world but have to work your ass off first so you have money to spend on the plane tickets, wanting to move to another country but you have to garner experience first. Big dreams, big, big dreams but how do you start? how do start fulfilling them from the bottom when you’re so comfortably inlove with school life?
As much as I hate to admit it, I can’t imagine not waking up, going to school, meet my friends, be in class, create an out-of-this-world PR plan, dream about graduating and moving to New York, shopping till you drop at Gucci, Prada, Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin but how is it to wake up for work, meet people who can be true to you or be medusa, work for money to satisfy your basic needs, wait for you to be promoted, create an out-of-this-world PR plan and have your boss say “That’s too ambitious, think about the money. be practical, don’t be stupid, kid. Welcome to the “real” world.”, have your hard work thrown in the trash, go home real late from the office and get up real f*cking early with your eye bags bigger than Kim K’s behind and going to the office again.
How can I compare the student life to that? That when you cry when things get too stressful you have your friends there because duh, you’re classmates, how can you bare the separation anxiety that you experience with the people you spent the most important years of growing up with? How can you compare making mistakes and having your professor there to point and correct what you got wrong so you can learn to when you should never make a mistake even if you’re a newbie because ‘new’ doesn’t exist when you’re in the workplace? How can you let go of your comfort zone?
My head is filled with questions and possibilities that keep me up at night, I worry about tomorrow and tomorrow is coming fast, time is not flying fast, it’s teleporting nowadays.
Time will never be your friend, it can never adjust for you; you have to adjust to it. Like you can stay 17 forever in your head, ways and heart because you’re just not ready to move on, but physically your already 30, fat, jobless and still not moving on. Time will never wait for you, so what you can do is catch it.
image courtesy of Google Image
The Inverted Trish 