Partnership: Compromise, Trust and a Common Goal

1. Partnership – a relationship resembling a legal partnership and usually involving close cooperation between parties having specified and joint rights and responsibilities
2. Compromise – settlement of differences by arbitration or by consent reached by mutual concessions
3. Trust – assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something, one in which confidence is placed
4. Common Goal – Something that partners would like to achieve

These are definitions by Meriam Webster, except for the fourth entry. Now, why do I say these things? Working in Public Relations allowed me to be exposed to “partnerships” whether it be with client, stakeholders, media, friends, key opinion leaders and such and I noticed a flaw. A flaw that has been prevalent, that has been opaque and is not just happening in the corporate world. I mean I’m no expert, my career is currently a fetus still being developed but I am observant.

What is the flaw? It’s that we bend and break our backs to please the “partner”.  We all aim to please but what is the cause? What are the consequences if we do?

When we have a goal in mind, we sometimes find a potential partner that can help us achieve that goal and when we find them, we form a partnership where parties, known as partners, agree to cooperate to advance their mutual interests or the common goal.

Why do we choose such partners? Because WE TRUST THEM. Let me go back to the definition of trust “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something, one in which confidence is placed” Now, this is where I lose my sh*t.

We are individuals and we have different sets of personalities, abilities and strengths, even organizations have different sets of services to offer where they are good at. Now, this is where compromise comes in, given that we have different ideas, ways and strengths, we need to marry ours and our partner’s ideas to reach our common goal. It’s not one is the superior and the other is a slave, I get that there are rules and protocols but again, we formed a partnership because we trust each other.

We will decide together, we will walk together, we will achieve together. Inclusiveness, that is also important. Trust me that I can do this for you so I may be a catalyst to hasten our march and I trust you for knowing and guiding me through the way that we chose to walk through.

We should not bend in whims to please our partner all the time because sometimes we know better than them on a specific topic and they know better than us on specific topics as well, we are good at our own fields and we need to use our strengths to allow us to be objective at achieving our goal.

What’s my point? Know when it’s not right to bend your body in angles your bones are not accustomed with.

Hangang Dito Nalang Tayo

Sa bawat pintig ng pulso ko, nararamdaman mo ba na ito’y para sayo?
Nararamdaman mo ba ang bawat kurbada ng katawan ko habang ito’y dinidiskubre ng mga kamay mo?
Ang bawat pintig hininga na dulot ng pagsayaw natin sa ngalan ng… Pagmamahal o tawag ng laman?
Pagmamahal o tawag ng laman, hindi ko alam kung ano ito sa’yo, pero alam ko kung ano ito sakin.
Naiintindihan mo ba na sa bawat hiling mo, handa akong baliin ang mga buto ko?
Dignidad ba ang kalaban ko kung ang taong mahal ko hindi naman mapapasa-akin ng buo?
Konsensya ko ay patuloy akong ibinabagabag dahil alam niya sa dulo’y ako rin naman ang magdurusa. Ako rin naman ang masasaktan.
Ako rin naman ang magtatanong
ng “Ano nga ba talaga tayo?”
Saan nga ba patungo ang hinaing ng bawat kurbada ng katawan ko’ng ini-ibig ka, sinta?
Ang hinaing ng puso kong uhaw sa pagmamahal mo, sa pagmamahal mong ukit ng aking isip
Dahil alam natin sa umpisa’y ang kasunduan ay hangang kama lamang, walang halong damdamin.
Ang kasunduang dapat kilalanin ko, dahil hangang dito lang tayo.

To The Millennial Who Thinks That They’re Burned Out

Maybe right now you’re questioning your capacity of striving for those dreams because you’re simply exhausted from running that race and would really need a break from the fast life, or maybe you just lost your first corporate job and questioning your competence, maybe even thinking of resigning from that toxic company because you just really can’t take it anymore.

When you feel like dragging your body in the morning and dreading the fact that you have to go to work again, when no amount of coffee can wake your soul in midday because your body is craving for the sleep work hinders you to consume, when the stress is too much to handle and you smoke a 2 packs a day now, that’s okay, we all have those moments, adulthood never came with a manual, we just merely dove into it without knowing how to swim in that ocean but I implore you to please not be consumed.

Please take a pause and re-evaluate yourself, are you still healthy? Are you eating right? Are you still happy? Can you still take it? You work your ass off and you need to reboot and recharge yourself, you get drained every work day and get burned right in the middle of the week and sometimes even need to work on the weekends. It’s not a sin to a few days off, it’s a rite because you are only human.

We have vacation leaves, please use them, you fucking deserve them! Take that trip, you’re worth it! Go be a couch potato for the day and binge watch Riverdale, The Originals and lose your chill over Wonder Woman, eat all that popcorn! Maybe Netflix and chill with your babe, if you have a babe. Go on that photo walk and feed your frustrated photographer self or go to church and talk to Him and lift all your burdens, I swear it will feel so good afterwards.

My fellow millennial, please remember to breathe and live the moment. I know that we’re not getting any younger but we are getting smarter and stronger with every single obstacle that we surpass.

Lovely Girl, Don’t Get Blinded By The Shiny Things

Dear Lovely Girl,

Please don’t get blinded by the shiny things, not even with those diamond rings. Please don’t let your love be bought by material things, because darling, please remember that you are capable and worth so much more.

Please don’t get swayed by his promise of giving you all that you desire, maybe that trip to Rome, all those pairs of Christian Louboutin, every shade of lipstick that Mac can make, that Range Rover that The Chainsmokers have been talking about, all those pretty lingerie from Victoria’s Secret. Maybe he can give you all of those, but please do ask yourself “Do I really like him beyond these overwhelming feelings driven by all his offers and gifts?”

My love, please also ask yourself the most important thing, “this is really what I am worth?” Because material things would not suffice the love that you would be giving him, the love that is so pure and complete, the love that could built empires and move mountains, the love that would be shared between you and him and grow another life, or two or three, the love that is willing to sacrifice, the love that would last a lifetime.

When you hit the highs and the lows, will he stay and be there for you? Is he willing stand back and watch you rise on your own if you ask him to when you fall? Does he respect and know the value of your freedom, will, voice and privacy? Are you above his pride and ego?

Does he know how to make you laugh? Will he remember your favorite color or the song that was playing when you had your first dance together? Does he understand you? Will he remember those small details that you told him during your late night conversations?

I know these are a lot of questions, but these are important questions. Please allow him to give himself first, and when he does please cherish him the way you would want him to do to you.

Please don’t pick somebody that you don’t truly like as a person just because he can give you material things, please don’t just accept and receive all those fancy things. Please don’t take advantage of what he can give, please put your values above. It’s not good to use other people and if your values are violated, you can always say no. Even if everybody around you tells you that you are stupid for not taking that opportunity, that if they were you, they would have accepted the offer, please don’t be like them. Trust me when I say that it feels so good knowing that you never used or taken advantage of someone just because you have the power to.

I would like to repeat that lovely girl, you are capable. Capable of giving yourself what material things he can give you through hard work, determination, will and prayer. Maybe it will take more time, but at least it is your time, money and effort that you will spend and not somebody else’s.

Please take the road less traveled because not everything can be solved through the high road.

Lovely girl, you are worth so much more than all those fancy things.

Musings Of A ‘Hubadera’

What is a ‘hubadera’?

In the language today a hubadera is a girl that wears ‘revealing’ clothes, she’s technically not afraid to show some skin at all or at most times with no bad intentions.

I am part of the hubaderas, and I get a lot of “lalabas kang ganyan suot mo? (You’re going out wearing that?)”, “Ang revealing ng suot mo! (Your outfit is too revealing!)”, “May respeto ka ba sa sarili mo? (Do you have any respect for yourself?)”, “Your shorts are too short”, “Your top is too low, taas mo nga yan (pull it up)”, “Pinakita mo na sa buong mundo katawan mo! Pinakita mo na lahat (You’ve shown the world your body, you’ve already shown everything)” other than these, I also get judging-lingering stares and the pervert-ish stares, I get cat called on a daily basis (even when I’m wearing something conservative)  and so much more and I’m sick and tired of it.

First of all, my clothes and style represents me, represents my character and attitudes. Allow me to explain that I also wear clothes based on my mood, what I’m feeling or if I need a confidence boost when I’m nervous. I’m bold, outgoing and confident, I am comfortable in my skin and I do respect myself.

Allow me to elaborate, that the low cuts, open backs, strappy tops, shortest shorts, lace trimmed dangers, cut outs, crop tops and ripped jeans does not define my ability to respect myself nor should it be a basis on whether or not you respect me. I have been seeing this quote that disgusts me, it goes “If you expect me to respect you, then give me something to respect.” this quote is most accompanied by a woman wearing ‘skimpy’ clothes. I reiterate that I respect myself and I expect you to respect me regardless of what I wear, because that does not define the entirety of me, I am a human a being, I am a person, that alone deserves respect, I was born in this world with human rights… Just. Like. YOU. Men’s ability to restrain themselves from gawking at and verbally disrespecting woman is in their scope, the phrase “that’s because he’s a boy” is NOT an excuse for you to be off the hook for what you’re doing.

It does not also mean that I wear my hubadera outfits to get your attention, nope, I wear them for myself so suck it up, I ain’t trying to impress you. I am not an attention whore, nor am I am whore. I’m not trying to attract you nor am I sending you signs that I like you or that I want you, nope and also I’m not teasing you. So the moment your pervert-ish stare turns into you attempting to touch me, I’ll break your arm and make sure you won’t see the light of day.

Me also wearing what I wear, does not mean I’m easy to get. Don’t ever mistake my showing of skin as me inviting you in.  You will work hard for me, because I’m very hard to get, trust me on that. Keep in mind that the one who deserves to see my naked body is the one who has seen my naked soul.

I also know how to compromise my style with rules, since I started working I needed to be mindful of the length of my skirt, the lowness of the cut of my top, no crop tops, no ripped jeans and no unnecessary cut outs during the weekdays but I make sure that what I wear still represents me because of all the things I would never want to lose again, it’s my identity.

You will also never see me consciously showing some skin when I’m in church, why did I saw consciously? Because there are moments when I was wearing shorts or a spaghetti strap with no cover up or a low cut top and surprise! We’re dropping by a church! I would never deliberately disrespect the church with what I’m wearing while hearing mass. You have no idea how ashamed and embarrassed I am when I am caught off guard like that, unlike the many church goers who consciously wear those things even when there is a big tarpaulin of what and what’s not of proper clothing in church. Just to be clear, I am not a hypocrite, I live by my rules that when in church I came for God and I will show up in my best.

Again, I implore you to not judge, make presumptions and disrespect me base on my choice of clothing because I don’t mind you wearing whatever you want to wear wherever you want to wear it, but I highly recommend that you dress accordingly in church.

My body is not all that I can offer, I have a mind and a soul and an entire being to accompany it. People will never know my train of thoughts, what it’s like to wake up next to me, what it’s like to be the one receiving my ‘I love you’ or see me at midnight holding my pen and paper and wondering what I’m writing down, taste my cooking, know my strengths and weaknesses, hear my poems, argue with me, watch me appreciate art and hear my explanation of the piece, go on dates with me and take pictures and just be crazy. I have more than the universe to offer that is beyond my physique.

 

 

 

*This is my brainchild, I appreciate that you credit me when you take a quote or repost this

Clean

Time is running out and the moment I’ve promised  myself is fast approaching. The end is near for you and me, the time has come to finally put a period on this chapter. The chapter that contains you because we have nowhere to go, we are consistent of endless pavements that leads to nowhere, a journey that has no destination, an equation that has no solution, a point that has no reason, has no meaning only questions with no answers because there’s no one to answer them.

The moment that I promised myself that I would let you go is the moment that everybody would celebrate, where everyone is provided a clean slate. The moment that I would finally follow the cliché “New year, new me” and I have every intention for it to be a new me, because I will leave the excess baggage that is you.

The one who has been holding me back to love somebody new because of the promise of coming home, of coming home to me. Baby, you did exactly what you said that you wouldn’t, you did the opposite of it and so much more. I’ve waited so long, I’ve waited too long and just reached the point of acceptance, accepting that there would never be any me and you, there would never be an us.

So now I only have six more days to finally say  goodbye to you, say the goodbye you’re never gonna hear like your silent goodbye that has been violently ringing in my ear. It’s time to finally stop re-reading old conversations and text messages, it’s time to finally tuck away the letter that you gave 5 years ago, to delete the pictures of you that I saved, to stop praying that I hear from you or to finally see  you, to stop asking God for signs on whether I should or shouldn’t keep you, on whether you’re okay or not, it’s time to finally stop myself from staying up all night worrying about you, time to finally stop myself from thinking, longing and wanting you . You’re a memory that I crave but I forbid myself to keep you as I move forward to the new year, it’s time to finally let you go and mean it. You’re the best part of my life so far and I wish to have spent every ups and downs that I went through with you. You set the standard for the guy that I want and I know no one can match you because you’re the only one in this world, but I hope and pray that someone would come above you, someone that I could completely call mine, the one who’ll watch me walk down the aisle.

So I accept the rain that will fall and I’m ready to put down my wall so all of you and the memory of you can flow away the tides so I can be clean and be ready for the next scene.

SANGRE by Joey Gonzales and Rex Morondoz

Stories of mythical creatures are very prominent in the Philippines, some of them are scary and some are harmless. There is a wide array of creatures from humans who have a horse’s head to women who grew wings at night fall and splits it’s torso from the lower part of her body to search for victims in the night, there are also dwendes, spirits and the diwata.

What is a diwata? A Diwata is a mythical deity or spirit that lives and watches over the forest.

Currently there is a show in the Philippine called Encantadia, who’s story revolves around 4 Sang’gres. A Sang’gre is the Enchanta (language used in the show Encantadia) term used to refer to a Diwata of royal blood, and who as such possesses special powers and destinies above those of a common Diwata.

This photo collection is Joey Gonzales and Rex Morondoz‘s take on the mythical creature

 

By Joey Gonzales

Model: Trish Perez

HMU: Mhico Punzalan

 

 

 

By Rex Morondoz

Model: Trish Perez

HMU: Mhico Punzalan

 

It was such an honor to have two amazing photographers to have me as their muse and capture such great photos, of course I wouldn’t have transformed into a the fiery deity without the help of the talented hair & make up artist Mhico Punzalan.

For inquiries on collaboration, I have inserted a hyperlink to each of their profiles, whenever their names are mentioned, where you may directly reach them. Thank you!

 

 

 

 

Reference:

http://encantadia.wikia.com/wiki/Sang’gre

Things That You Should Know When You’re Dating An Alpha Female

What is an Alpha Female?

“The Alpha Female is a strong, majestic female. She can often be intimidating to those around her and isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants. She’s killing it in her career and has a solid group of friends to rely on. There’s nothing quite as brilliant as a woman with confidence and ambition.” – Elite Daily

Here are the things that you should know when you’re dating one:

1. She’s a strong woman

She fends for herself and has the ability to quickly get up on her own feet, she gets things done and knows what she wants and she knows how to get it, even without your help because she’s determined AF.

2. Get ready to feel emasculated sometimes

Since she is a strong woman, she won’t easily back down on a fight. Especially if she knows that she is right, she has debate skill man and she’s not afraid to use it on you. She has the upper hand in her life and she most definitely want to have it in a fight where she knows that she’s right and you’re the one who’s wrong, but she does know when to step down.

3. She talks no BS

She will tell you EXACTLY what she thinks, what she wants, what she needs and what she feels. Most of the time she won’t leave you guessing what you did to get her angry or jealous or when you’ve made her so happy and feel so loved.

4. She can be intimidating

She’s not like most girls that you’ve dated and sometimes that can seem a threat to you because you can’t easily woo her the way you do with the other chicks, but chill she does get swoon, you just have to look for the right spot.

5. She’s independent and not used to someone spending on her

Excuse her for this one, if you’re out on a date and she asks to split the bill, just do. And please don’t feel offended if you give her a gift and she says “It’s too much, I can’t accept this” because she’s not use to other people spending on her, just give it some time she will eventually let you treat her and hey, she’ll treat you out and give you gifts too.

6. She takes initiative

She’s not afraid to make the first move, most especially if she really wants it.

7. She will be your support system

She will listen to you and support you in everything that you do, she’s going to be your personal cheerleader and she will always have your back.

8. She wants you

At some point, you may feel that she doesn’t need you because she’s capable of so many things and can accomplish most anything on her own and frankly she may really not, but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want you in her life, that she doesn’t want to share the peaks and valleys with you. She loves you that’s why you’re together, you’re the man that made her say yes, when many guys received her no.

Hindi Kasi Pwede

Pinilit kasi natin ang hindi pwede,  ayan tuloy nasaktan tayo,  ayan tuloy nagsisi tayo.

Minsan iniisip ko bakit nga ba natin pinaglaban? Ahh, naalala ko na,  kasi nagsumpaan tayo sa isa’t isa na tatapusin nating dalawa ang laban,  ayan natapos nga natin pati naman tayo natapos din.

Pero okay lang kasi nalaman ko na naman na hindi pala tayo para sa isa’t isa, na ang sumpaan natin ay puwang na mga salita lamang. Ang mga pangarap natin ay puwang na mga kathang isip lamang,  ang mga lugar na pinuntahan at balak natin puntahan ay puwang na mga lugar lamang. Ang mga kanta, tula at mga regalo ay puwang na mga kanta, tula at bagay lamang. Lahat sila ay dapat hindi ko bigyan ng kabuluhan or halaga kasi nga ganun lang sila, nagkataon lang na may ‘tayo’ pa nun kaya ayan, ako si tanga na hindi matanggal ang mga halaga nila.

Siguro iniisip mo, saan ako patungo? Kasi ang gulo gulo ko, dami kong sinasabi. Sasabihin wala na tayo tapos ieexplain ko bakit pero magpapahiwatig akong gusto pa kita, na gusto ko ulit may “tayo”.

Pero sorry na, patawarin mo na ako. Di ko naman sinasadyang may hangover pa ako. Huwag ka magalala, mawawawala na rin lahat ng mga ito….

 

 

Kasabay ko….

Why Are You Still Single?

Please don’t make your first question a “How’s your love life?” believe me I will tell you “it’s non-existent.” I’ve actually been asked this so many times that I’m making my love life a taboo subject because it should be none of your business.

Please stop saying “No way! You’re too pretty to be single!” thank you for thinking that I’m pretty, but outer appearance does not equate to relationship status. Yes it’s been a really long time since I’ve actually been together with someone and it’s my decision, not yours.

Please stop comparing me with my friends who are happily in love. I am well aware that I am the lone ranger in the squad, love came in the “destined” time for them and I am very happy that it did, you don’t know their story and neither do you mine, so stop comparing.

Please don’t make assumptions that I’m with someone because you often see me mention them on Twitter, or post pictures with them or even because you see me talk to them often, don’t make my social media accounts a validation mechanism, I still believe in privacy.

Please stop telling me that I should start dating, I actually already am considering it and it just so happens that nobody has passed stage 1 yet. I’m hard to get and I’m not pretending, I just really am but I ensure you that if you do get me, it will be worth it.

Please stop telling me that I’m too picky, of course I should be! Because the goal is to marry that person.  I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone who I was unsure of, of someone who can’t handle me, of someone who will tell me that I’m showing my true colors when I show him every single color that I have, of someone who will tell me to get my attitude straight when I’m being difficult, of someone who is on a different wavelength than me, of someone who I wasn’t truly, deeply and madly in love with.

I will flourish in that aspect with someone who I deem is “the one” for me, whom in return believes I am “the one” for him, in the right time. I’m in no rush, yes at times it gets lonely, and who wouldn’t want someone to stand by their side, right? But I do get by on my own.

Love is not a one way track, nor does is exist because of pressure from outside forces. Love should not be make believe nor forced, it should not be mistaken for momentary happiness, or the butterflies in your stomach. Love should not also be mistaken for admiration because the discovery of true love is a process that takes time, effort and patience.

So please, stop asking me why am I still single.